her decision

the days dragged in that endless summer

when we'd drink tinnies every afternoon

waiting for women to wander by

so we could wolf-whistle

& call out lewd suggestions



        "3655 Main Beach Parade


        come back to-nite


        & you will get laid!"



we were in the desert of lonesome desolation

& sometimes I would forget the feel

the scent the luscious tastes

of a rapine lustful body writhing

beneath my own masculine form

driving desire home



we came back from the Sunday session

down at Fishies in the beer garden

sunburnt & sunstruck

with a cold slab

a bag of dope

& the surfies nextdoor

had a bunch of eccies

leftover from Saturday night



I don't even recall her name

but I do remember

her picture in the newspaper

her bright blue skirt

sweat through her spun gold hair

& the moment of indecision



the boys had one thing

on their little date-rape minds

& so did I

but my innocent offer

caught her in the porch-light

head-lights of indecision

a matilda roo on my driveway

with nowhere to flee

looking for somewhere to hide



it was hard to see

in that drawn out moment

the ex-private-school girl

behind the smeared mascara

dilated pupils & the stale scent

of spent love



I imagined her cool flesh

naked & supple compliant

beneath my searching hands

but then she chose

made her fateful decision

went nextdoor with the surfies

leaving me to go to bed

my imagination screaming

with overloaded carnal heat

sleep eluded me

without narcotic depressants

hard coma with the moisture of pillow drool

& fifteen minutes of masturbation



two days later

I saw her picture

in the newspaper on page 13

with the recycled headline



        "19 year old overdose victim"